What are You Saying?


Have you ever noticed the direction of your self-talk? Before I started using essential oils, I barely paid any attention to my thoughts. I thought my thoughts were just thoughts and that they had very little impact on the way we do life. Boy, was I wrong! As it turns out, quite the opposite is true, and since the summer of last year as I started sharing my passion with more and more people, the reality of the condition of my thought life surfaced. I noticed that I very frequently used words in the negative vernacular including words with negative prefixes and suffix to convey a message or think a thought, even if the message was positive. For example, instead of thinking, “I prefer to stay indoors today,” I would think, “I’m not going outside today.” Or instead of saying, “I’m preoccupied at the moment,” I’d say, “I’m unavailable!” I’m sure my two examples read exactly the same to the naked eye, but when examined further, you’ll notice a stark difference. The word “preoccupied” starts with a positive prefix while the word “unavailable” begins with a negative prefix. The word “not” is the negative form of the verb “to be”. “Prefer” is also a verb and its definition means “like”, which has a much more positive connotation.

What does this have to do with speaking up? Well, when I say speak up, I’m referring to the direction of our speech. Are the mechanics of the language we use more uplifting and positive or bringing you down? Depending on what we choose to say will greatly impact how we form thoughts.

When working on a way to communicate this point effectively, I thought about it from the perspective of a child. Children are born in this world with an open mindset, believing that they can be anything they want to be and do anything they want to do. As they grow and come across difficult tasks, they start to lose some of the overwhelming confidence they once possessed. The problem of language can come in when the child verbally identifies that realization when he or she states, “I can’t do this.” It would make a world of difference if instead a child were taught to say, “I am challenged by this.” The phrase, “I can’t do this,” debilitates an individual. By the time an adult comes around and says something encouraging like, “Yes you can,” the damage often times has already been done and typically a child will continue to camp on the opposite pole demanding that they indeed cannot. And even if the child can be convinced that they can come around to a second attempt, now they’re dealing with a double minded approach on doing things.

The second scenario, I’ve come to believe, is way more beneficial to the growth and development of our mindset. The phrase, “I am challenged by this,” acknowledges the reality of the situation and still leaves room to remain solution oriented about the task at hand, thus resulting in a much healthier outlook on an approach to how to do life.

This seemingly minute point of detail can sometimes be the incredible difference between someone who is well and one who is not well. Now, I agree that wellness is a complex phenomenon for every person on the planet, so I don’t mean any disrespect in simplifying overall wellness to being as simple as changing one’s words because the brain has to believe those words after all! You could lie to yourself all day long and that’d be just as damaging because you would know deep down that your self-talk was not the truth. What I’m suggesting is a matter of being as positive as possible when an idea is being expressed. When I started using positive words and vernacular to express my positive beliefs, it was a total brain overhaul. I’m so glad I had therapeutic grade essential oils around! Therapeutic grade essential oils grounded me, giving me a positive association with a uplifting language, the experience was kinda like Pavlov’s dog! When I started expressing what my brain believes with positive language vernacular (freeing myself of words having negative connotations) and then reinforcing those thoughts by pairing it with positive scents from essential oils, the negative self-talk I was experiencing significantly reduced!

Now does it mean that I’ve ceased having negative thoughts? By no means! What has happened is that those thoughts have been greatly reduced. If I could give a percentage, I would say, what once was negative self-talk and thoughts 80% of the time, has now been reduced to 15% of the time. Totally my own scale, but the magnitude, I think is quite amazing!

Up to this point, I have since continued with my experiment challenging myself further to attempt conveying negative events by using only positive vernacular. There are times when this is extremely inappropriate, obviously, but for the times when it’s not, I have purposed to speak up, using words that are positive and uplifting!

I found an interesting article online entitled “Words that Affect Negative Attitudes”. Part of the article emphasized how negativity can show through word choices and after a series of negative words are listed in the article, there’s a section called “Effects of a Negative Attitude” that reads:

Now that you have a list of words that describe negative attitudes, maybe you’d like to know the effects of negative words

  • Negativity can change the way you look at the world and keep you from enjoying the things that used to bring joy.
  • It stops you from trying new things that may be spectacular.
  • Negativity can keep you from maturing and learning how to cope with the challenges of life.
  • It can lead to loneliness, depression, and stress.
  • Negativity can take away energy and motivation. Instead of being a go-getter, you become hopeless and simply cannot help yourself.

From a physical standpoint, negativity, unhappiness, and stress weakens the immune system. When this happens, you can become susceptible to many diseases, from the common cold to chronic pain.”

Could it be that a choice as simple as which word you decide to use can affect the amount of negativity you’re attracting to your life? I found the answer to this question to be a big fat “yes” for me most of the time. And now that I’ve learned this, I feel so empowered as a person because I know that I have the ability to choose between positive and negative words with a better understanding of the outcomes of both! And now that I know, I’m spreading the word so that others can feel just as empowered in their own lives!

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